A Prison Conversation on Evil

Special thanks to my good friend and classmate, Mike Brinda for letting me share this. IT sets out to discuss the problem of evil and moral evidence of God. Enjoy.

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Setting: Maximum-security prison, chow hall, two inmates seated at dinner

Characters: Chauncey (the Christian) and Dante (the Atheist)

Chauncey: You gonna eat your ice cream?

Dante: Fool, you know I sell my ice cream.

Chauncey: What about your burger?

Dante: Man, what’s wrong with you? Of course I eat my burger. Why you be trippin on my food?

Chauncey: I just want to be polite. Because when you’re done eating, I’m gonna kill you.

Dante: Man, you crazy! You been doing too many 8-balls, or something.

Chauncey: You know I don’t do drugs. I sell drugs, remember?

Dante: Yeah, well, you ain’t sold me no drugs, and I don’t owe you no money. And I never said nothin’ to nobody ‘bout no killin’ in here.

Chauncey: You said killin’ didn’t matter.

Dante: I never said that!

Chauncey: Sure you did, man. I been hearing you say it out on the yard, like forever. You be tellin’ the brothers there’s no God, and you be callin’ us fools for goin’ to church. Stuff like that.

Dante: Yeah, but that ain’t got nothin’ to do with no killin’? I never said nothin’ ‘bout killin’, you feel me? Man, I dunno what you talkin’ ‘bout.

Chauncey: You want me to explain before I kill you?

Dante: Man, you better come up with sumpin’, ‘cause I’m ‘bout ready to take this tray and smack you up side yo’ head.

Chauncey: You know I go to this class ‘bout church and stuff every week?

Dante: I heard.

Chauncey: Last week the teacher talked to us ‘bout good and evil. He told---

Dante: So?

Chauncey: He told us, like, if there’s no God, then good and evil is whatever you say it is, you feel me?

Dante: Yeah, man, I feel you. I be tellin’ you and the brothers that all along, but you don’t listen.

Chauncey: Well, like, I was feelin’ bad ‘bout all the killin’ I did on the street. But now, I’m like, maybe Dante’s right? If there’s no God, I can do what I want again. And what I want is to kill you, ‘cause you not part of my set, and killin’, killin’ don’t matter, right? You see what I’m sayin’?

Dante: Killin’ me matter to me!

Chauncey: You know I’m just messin with you. This teacher in my class, he called it a “hypothetical.” He said, first thing you gotta do is get people’s attention.

Dante: Bro, you got my attention.

Chauncey: I doubt it, man. I’d really have to go off on you to get yo’ attention.

Dante: Look, man, what you want?

Chauncey: Nothin’. I don’t want nothin’. Just think ‘bout what I said, bro--- If there don’t be no God, then there ain’t no good, ain’t no evil. It’s just what you say . . . what I say. And that, that don’t makes no sense ‘cause we already lived that way, and look where we be.

Dante: Man, that’s old news. Get some new material.

Chauncey: Maybe. Maybe ‘fore you start trippin’ and calling us fools for us goin’ to church, maybe you think a minute ‘bout me killin’ you, ‘cause killin don’t mean nothin’, right? You think that makes sense? Cause when you be saying there’s no God, that what you really be sayin’, man. Just act crazy. It don’t matter.

Dante: I’ll think about it. Now stop messin’ with me.

Guard: Chow time over. Let’s clear it out.